The Man In the Mirror

It was not been long ago when I last saw the man in the mirror.

He was slimmer, a tad more good looking, and definately much more disciplined.

That includes his exercise regime, his daily walk with God, and accountability.

Time was at his disposal, and he enjoyed most good days which the Almighty had given him.

He used to have this really o-biang black-framed army spectacles; oh who can forget the geeky look.

Cooking was one of his favourite past times, and he often enjoyed the few hammock nights which occurred.

In fact, he had so much time that he could spend the whole day just buying groceries and wiping up dishes for his friends, family, and primarily, himself, for he enjoys it.

Ah, but he did have many weaknesses.

When i looked into his eyes on the other side of the mirror, i can tell that he has many things which he was struggling with; to put it plainly, he was struggling towards perfection.

Just now, i went to visit this old friend of mine.

He was still stuck in the mirror, but my oh my, he sure had gotten alot bigger.

The stomach for one, was rather big.

The looks, well, his face appeared rounder, though it could have well been a parellex error.

Maybe the recent month had been really hard on him.

He told me that he had been honoured to be part of the planning committee for the PPTTC, that God had manifested His presence, and the camp was a blast, such that he did not have time to go running.

He had also volunteered to run the ABC children's program with a friend, and for that, experimented coming up with his own powerpoint slides.

He told me it was tiring, but fun nonetheless, thank God for Jaslyn Leong, the bosses and God.

Afterwhich, he went for a Scripture Union TREK Programme, and following which was held at Port Dickson.

Thailand trip to the refugee centre also was on the list of things to do in June.

He told me that he might share it with me soon, but that he did not have time to tell me about his trip.

The only overseas holiday he had was when he went last week with his cousins Daniel and Cheryl(and friends) for a trip to Taiwan and then to Hong Kong.

Food was good for the all the camps and trips besides the ABC camp, though the man in the mirror says he should really be thankful for any food on the table for God had provided it.

I think that explained the increase in his size.

He had been wondering lately though, if he had really overworked himself by taking up too much.

Ah well, at least all these are over, but some other things still loom ahead, and he is quite viexed about the future and what it holds.

Anyways, I think he looks really nice in his new frameless specs.

:)

On a more serious note, I'm here to jot down some of my processed thoughts.

To date, I've lived 21 years and 3 months less 7 days. How have I been using this time, mentally? Besides the time when i am sleeping, doing work, struggling with various devious thoughts, i guess alot of time had been spent on thinking about my place with God.

Not that it isnt good. It is good, thinking about my relationship with God once in a while. Everyone's gotta do some self evaluating, so its fine by me. However, sometimes this evaluating thing really eats me up. I spent more time thinking about my current relationship 'closeness' with God rather than the actual time i spend getting close to God, or at least trying nothing less than my best. I've asked God so much questions but 99% the time, I do not give time for Him to reply. I've been so fed up about living but I've never really fully tasted the life that He want me have. I'm a living irony.

Actually, I might even be scared of the reply that He might give me. 'Go do the dishes' or 'Go clean up your room', these might just be the easiest reply i might comply to. He might even say things like, 'give all you have to the poor', or 'go and forgive this person', or testify to a person whom i do not know at all... In all, I can only find myself at one conclusion; I have not fully gave my life to God. At some point, or most i would say, I still want to be in control. In fact, I have been so self-centred at times, e.g. now, that it is quite apparent; up till now in this blog post, there are about 26 or more times i used the word 'I', 'Me', or even something of that sort.

Sigh. Many times i have given up just to take it back again, both consciously or sub-consciously. Now you see why we have to die to Christ everyday.

Looks like Taiyong is right when he tagged in the tagboard to tell me that it was cockroach genes which they were using. With the help of my computer whiz brother, i've managed to hack into the archives and looked into the project in which our friend was a human guinea pig. Managed to extract one interesting picture. Incidentally, the scientists in charge of this project actually came up with a projected image of what their perfect killing machine should be like, that is back when they were assuming that there were no ill effects at all... have a look...

Apparently, Prototype XIII a.k.a Jeshua, was supposed to grow up to be a humongous silent sleath assassin.

Boy, I'm so thankful he took the antidote. I'm just wondering, is the antidote something we can actually buy off the shelf? Something by the name of Baygone.... or Sheltox...