Heres a word of thanks giving to God.

He never sleeps, He never slumbers
He remembers those who loves Him
Upheld those who place their trust in Him
He turns my worries into joy
And my frown into a smile

He is the rock
Firm, hard and steady
My foundation and my source of strength
No food or drink can give nor satisfy nor give

His hands guide mine as i write
Heart with me, Word and Spirit too
I meditate upon His Words
They bring me refreshing at dusk

His blessings to me is like rain after a drought
Air to a drowning man
His grace is something i can never understand
For He chooses to bless a sinner of a son like me.

So my soul, my soul
rejoice in the Lord for the undeserved love
yes i said rejoice in Lord
For this day, salvation and deliverance had come upon you.

- my Psalm

Just a brief sharing of my life recently. Got back my prelims results. C for physics, D for maths, O for chemistry. thats an improvement from the previous F, O, F i got respectively for block test 2. For GP, my paper one improved from 30 to 31, and paper 2 from 22.5 to 24. Like i said before this in the psalm, this is realli realli undeserved. Praise God! Though its not very good results still, but there is an improvement and it encourages me to know that, spending ample time with God daily dosent stop anyone from improving. In fact, God will open up the storage space in the coconut up there. My future is in safe hands, if i continue to trust in Him and do my best. :D

thanks BIRKS!
second time my nail had to grow from the start from right under.

comment?! :D
haha!

See, i knew Malays are cool. haha. Taufik obviously matured alot, alot more confident of his steps and comfortable on the stage. and Havi. or however u would spell his name. congrats, if he ever reads this blog, or if his loyal fans happens to drop by. Nevertheless, me and daniel both tot that, while havi has a nicer voice quality, jonathan has more SEh... his album should be the one which sells hotter than the roti prata which is just fried.

ah~ now i see. Salsa, its the appetiser, Tango, the main dish. haha. Hot stuff.

watching Take The Lead makes me wish a gazillion times over that i could dance like that with someone special, in the future maybe, who knows who. haha. exciting.

Antonio Banderas- i hope he churns up more dance shows.

i think alot of people cannot pronounce names properly. Its supposed to be aunty AGNUS, not aunty ANNA. those people at the saloon, speak too much dialect. haha. hmm aunty agnus, i have a good memory of this name, like back in sunday sku... haha another nice motherly aunty.

i wanna share sth with both christians and non christians. I'm so excited. haha. Prophet TB Joshua is coming to Singapore and he is gonna have a leader's summit! mom says any mature christian can go, and she wanna sponsor me, so who wanna go with me?!?! He'll be covering topics like miracles, healings, deliverance, prophecy... yea so who wanna go please tag my board, i'll see ifmy mom can get the forms. haha! Its on the 29th/30th, either one. there's also a youth rally on the 3rd of dec. free for youth rally but leader's summit need to pay like 50 bucks. take it as an investment people!! haha.

I've watched his CDs, how God had used him to heal people, and if u guys realli wanna witness the power of God and the annointing of God on this man, there is a national healing campaign on the 27th and 28th nov, which are monday and tuesday. God was able, and is still able to the impossible! healing those with AIDS, TUMOUR, BONE FRACTURE, CANCER... the list goes on. If you guys dun believe, pop down to have a look, its free! and IF YOU HAVE ANY RELATIVES WHO HAVE LIFE THREATENING DISEASE OR ANYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE HEALED, HERES THE GOOD NEWS, that God is gonna do sth great through prophet joshua, not cos he is a prophet, but because God is God! :D Theres no harm trying:D

ah anyway, let me come to a question TY asked, or rather, incited me to think abt. What if He is a false prophet? i remember the bible said, test the spirit, for no evil spirits will declare Jesus is Lord. Anyway, i oso tot of sth. If faith is about believing, than it should not be abt the person praying for u. Its abt us trusting God for sth, in this case, a miracle in our life. And, a devil wont wanna glorify God by actually doing what will glorify God right? A miracle wont happen cos of a prophet. A miracle happens cosof a God. :D

i'm still in the post prelims mode. I hope someone will slap me tml to wake me up. haha. OH! my results should be a shocker(either positive or negative, rarely in btw). just hope its not a rude shocker. heh.

yay, Taking The Lead tml. hie hie hie hie hie hie!

haha i have the slackiest day in like months today. i mean, saturday, which was technically yesterday. DINT STUDY AT ALL! feel abit wierd but well, sumtimes we realli need to get out of patterns. tml i shall start working hard, than monday pris is gonna lend me the "take the lead" so i'll take a mid day break. haha! great plan.

had a hair cut at simei, and i found out, the nice talkative aunty who always cut my hair, her name's anna. Aunty anna. haha. the exact opposite of the anna i know, so talkative and happening. And, shes realli entertaining, and she does knows how to bootlick. Asked me a few consecutive questions which in my point of view, is the same set of questions "concerned" relatives will ask me in time to come(which reminds me, i better come up with a standard set of answers to those questions, soon. haha). The only thing shes short of doing is introducing her daughter to me(who happens to be in daniel's church. ok daniel was the one who introduced me to aunty anna to have my hair cut in the first place. )haircut was fun, in short, oh not forgetting the very shiok head massage. my stressed brain could do with a little more. haha. anyway, i guess, we entertain each other.

thereafter, i took a little stroll at the pet safari by myself. My, my, the dogs there are realli so cute. esp the husky pup. furball of happiness. i wish i own a dog. a childhood dream i hope i can see come true one day, heh. Dogs are such lovable creatures which can actually sense your mood, comforting with their very presence. unlike cats(not kittens though), which on the other hand, i think they posses very snobbish eyes, plus the "I'm King" attitude. Dogs are more of the "I'm your humble servant" kinda creatures. haha. Go fetch that news paper..

churched and celled. hafta say, cell is much more fun now. this is like the first cell time in a month or 2 that even 1 of our female members appear anyway, most prolly too busy studying.

question:

If God already knows what we are thinking and gonna ask for in prayers, why than do we need to pray?

i gave a blunt answer

"Cos, if not we got nth to say to God. "

of course, the better answer, like aaron put it, was that God wanna see how much we desire for what we are gonna pray for.

question:

Why do we need to pray for others?(since God will bless others no matter what we do or do not)

This is sumthing i learnt today. we pray for others, so that we can 1)REMIND ourselves of our responsibility of 2)SERVICE to others in 3)LOVE.

For those who reads this blog, u're prolly in my prayer list, so, link link. haha.

i'm so proud of myself, cos i cleaned majority of my keyboard, plucking out all the alphabet keys and cleaning 'em. Found hair and thick layer of dirt below the keys. this-ghast-ding. Guess what i used to clean 'em. L'OREAL instant freshness tonin water, sumthing i own but dun use. haha. so, i've put it to good use today. heh heh.

i'm loving Ephesians.
Ephesians 6:18
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

a tall order for me to fulfill. but its a command, is it not?

go to this webbie people! it shows the miraculous healing of this sports man who had a series of injuries.

http://www.themaninthesynagogue.org/knee_injury.htm

this miracle is being done by God through the Prophet T.B. Joshua, and hes coming down to singapore in the last week of nov in the indoor stadium :D 27th &28th nov in fact, monday and tuesday. record these dates down in your diaries people! go to www.nationalhealingcampaign.com or www.emmanuel.tv

finally i read finish 绝代双交. except 2 books which chaos dun have. went to sku today at 3pm just to get that book before going to tuition, and read finish it in sku. i was hoping to be able to get those two boooks which i ordered, but the services wasnt that prompt for my case. quite disappointed.

AND, thank God, i'm feeling much better now. HOORAY! if things can get better, i hope i can go my grand's house to sleepover. there, can study, can eat. haha.

i'm so hot now that i've put the boiling water in the thermos flask to shame!haha

Cough, fever and runny nose. The combination i hate since young.

i'm so bored now, but
i'm in no condition to study, and
looking at the computer screen makes me dizzy.

When is mom coming home?

gah, i need to get off my com, its making me swirl, though i have not much things else to do.

i hate falling sick, now. Esp when i'm really supposed to be in sku, clarifying doupts regarding chem. And what am i doing? Staying at home, drinkin a wierd mixture of tea which seems to have a soothing effects on my inflamed tonsils. i could realli do with more of these 10 hr long sleep once in a while during this period of time.

the day was pretty eventful sieveing through some of my sfc seniors' online diaries. Some of them are doing pretty well, finding emotional support and stuff, while there are also those on the other side suffering from relationship lashbacks, which, by the way i see it, also affects their spritual walk by quite some bit. So, people-people relationships do balance up with people-God relationships, majority the time. One suffers when the other does.

wonder what will become of me. Those seniorss who are falling away now, last year they seemed so on fire for God; such strong christians. Is this why Paul said that it is right for people to get married, but they who decide to celibate does even more right?

comtemplating, but i dont think i can lead such a life. The big and noisy family i dream of having since young, it will be a big opportunity cost, even ceteris paribus; the high cost of a family. It can only take God to convince me so.

So by the way this leads me to a question i've been finding diffulty answering:

Is the family a model of the oneness of the christian body or the other way round?

If it is the former, than how would i know a father's heart except by being one? Than again, how do non-married christians know and understand a father's love, esp since the fathers in this current age can more often than not, are just bystanders in the lives of their children? How do non-married orphaned christian ever recognise a father's love? These, are realli profound to me. If anyone willing, please educate yours truly.

and,

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

guilty,
of badmouthing,
me.

i think my brother passed me something...

...
...
...
...
...
...

let me see.....

...
...
...
...
...
...
...

oh, its...

...
...
...
...
...
...

FLU!

oh well, at least i'm fortunate to be closer to my brother now, even if its the reason i get flu now. hah.

and today, is a great day to praise God, for He had been faithful, to those who cry out to Him. Yeah. and now, i can realli start to sing with confidence" You raise me up, so i can stand on mountains... "

yeah i know what show i wanna watch again. and again.

TAKE THE LEAD.
another nice dancing show.haha

THOUGHTS AROUND YOU

Small in size,
You’re a giant in my life.

What happened to the times,
We sat shoulder to shoulder,
Singing our favourite song?

Before the first of the third millennium, maybe
My performance somehow dented your pride
To have those with the same ancestry teasing your achievements,
At the same intensity they praised mine.
So what if we seemed to be in different leagues?
Our schools’ acronym only differs by a tee.

True, they don’t sing much good about you or to you,
But their love for you, I’m sure, is no lesser than that they have for me,
And maybe even more.

Four years down the road,
Things somehow changed.
You’re now in the Premiership,
And I’m in division ‘P’.
I can only find humour in the fact,
That our tertiary schools differs only by an ass.

Aren’t we the next of kin, you older than me?
I’m happy as your younger cousin, still, let be.
I’m next in line to the throne you hold.
Think I care? That’s never my main interest though.

Sometimes I envy you,
You who hide under the wings of them who had provided shelter,
For your mom and mine.

We don’t even talk when we meet now,
Just the respectful address I give each time I see you.
They want me to help you open up,
But can u tell me how?
I daren’t speak in your presence,
For I fear you’ll find me a nuisance,
Or know that I’m just full of nonsense.

For us I just wish to sit side by side,
Eyes staring into space, humming that tune,
And together we go...


this is the first time i gave a name to a piece i wrote. haha. quite happy with it. And thats how i feel when i am ard my cousin joel. Sad to say, we were once very very close. In fact, i dint even know that he was 2 years older than me. ok my maths was lousy and i had a bad memory. haha.

i remembered once there was a birthday party at my grand's and i tot it was my birthday party. when i was abt 3 or 4 i think. i kept thinking that it was my birthday so i kept sitting in front of the birthday cake without moving away from the 'throne'. haha. very funny. it was, my cousin's birthday actually. haha.

the overnight study session at COMMONWEALTH macs with chaos was superb, cos they dun turn off the aircon off, plus there is not much people there, and no mosquitoes/cockroaches. Original place was west coast macs, but neither me nor chaos know how to get there. So there we were, desperately calling the westies at 10.30pm to ask them. anna lied to us! say got 167. haha. but its a good thing we settled at commonwealth. i can say that i finished revision for organic chem and just need alot of practice. ALOT.

think wawa likes me. haha! chaos said so. it kept following me just now when i went to take transition elements notes from him. i'll ask him to send me a foto of that cutie pie when its young. very very cute. haha. if i ever get a dog, my first one would either be a long coated rough collie, or a long coated chiwawa!

EH CHAOS IF U SEE THIS, PLEASE SEND ME THE FOTO, WHEN WAWA WAS YOUNG. :D

o right. i'm online yet again, but this time, i'm at my grandma's house! hmm, its been a month or so since i last stepped into this place. There is still this "slack" and "relax" feel to it. haha. the only kampong left in Singapore is hougang block 311! hie hie. its a place where i am KING. 饭来张口, 衣来伸手.

this is also the place where i spent one of my earlier years on earth. The times of hiding in the storeroom after a bathe, wrapped only in towel, and my granny had to lure me out with ice cream. The times when i learnt by experiment that soap makes your eyes pain. Where bathing takes on the more ancient method of bucket and tub and COLD water. Where the toilet is not the sitting but the squatting one, and puny me at that point in time had to hold on to the pipe for dear life lest i fall inside while flushing the toilet. Where i get to eat 3 pieces of prata for breakfast plus carrot cake. Where i spent half the time awake in front of the tv and the other half in the kitchen. Where there is always milk in the fridge for me to drink(NOT HL, i hate HL and those vanilla flavoured milk, taste like some medicine). A place where if my mom scolds me, she get scolded back by my granny. This is also where i ate red chilli for the first time in my life, while looking through the fridge for edible stuff at the age of 3, then not daring to cry. haha. These, not including my 5 unmarried aunties and 1 unmarried uncle, all of whom will try to please US, and esp me, the nicest of the whole lot of niece and nephews. (ok notice i put nicest, which means, i might be the best of the worse). haha. And they try their best to buy things back for me to eat after they work, which explains why i think its not very healthy for me to stay over long period of time here. i'll get phat. PHat. haha.

and to stress my point abt how kampong thsi place is, i am gonna try to study tonight HERE. Its the 1000th i am trying, and if i succeed, than it would most probably be my first time in settling down to study. haha!

(oh i have to jot this down. me and chaos got chased out of starbucks while studying. How could they! We are our country's hope for the future man! ) haha

Westlife- If I Let You Go

Day after day time pass away
And i just cant get you off my mind
Nobody knows i hide it inside
I keep on searching but i cant find

The courage to show, to letting u know
I've never felt so much in love before
And once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out

(chorus)
But if i let u go i will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will i ever see you smiling back at me (oh yeah) ?
How will i know if i let you go?

Night after night i hear my self say
Why cant this feeling just fade away?
These no one like you (no one like you)
You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)
Its such a shame we're worlds apart

Im too shy to ask, im to proud to lose
But sooner or later i've got to choose
And once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out

(repeat chorus)

Once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if i let u go (oh) i will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me (close to me)
Will i ever see you smiling back at me (oh yeah) ?
How will i know if i let you go ?

But if i let you go i will never know (oh baby)
Will i ever see you smiling back at me (oh yeah)?
How will i know if i let you go?


Think this is the first few times in a long long time i posted a non-christian song. yea, boy band. i was once a fan. When i tot of this song some days ago, i remembered the good times, like in the good old days of secondary 2, when me zh and py went for singing auditions for our sku talentime. We sang this song. My first audition, and after which i decided that it will also me my last, haha, but it was fun and pleasant while it lasted. Actually, some non-christian songs do hold some element of factual life. Like for this song, talks abt choosing to fight for something, and the dilema if don't. Maybe, it talks abt an opportunity cost, though specifically in this case, love. oh well, its a nice song. haha. i dont have it now cos i sort of deleted it long time ago. :((

anyway,
- u know that u are desperate when, u engage a physics tutor 6 weeks before your A lvls.
- u know that u are desperate when, the teacher say u can stay for more than one session of tution, u decided to stay for ALL sessions of tuition.
- u know u are in for some time of embarrasement when, knowing that u are late, u choose to squeeze into a train which doors are half shut, after which u had to yank your bag into the train, and look down on the floor as if nth happen.
- and lastly, u know that u are in for some smelly times when the lady in front of u on the escalator which is going upwards, makes some awful noises down her southern hemisphere.

haha, that sums up my yesterday.
i must say, i am quite impressed with the physics tutor. He is super nerd looking, but hes quite pro. haha. oh well, there goes my money. hope its put to good use. 160bucks. super alot for me. good thing mom is paying, at the expense of my.... argh! shant say. haha. makes me sad.

yay!(aaron, my cell leader not my brother, say we should try enjoying the things we do. He says its a form of worship unto God. Guess hes right) off to another study session with chaos. haha

comics are like wine.
they take away your sorrow, but only momentarily.

why chaos dun have book 21 and 22?!?!

once again, i lost my interest in studying today, just 2.5 hrs after i've started. haha. thats why, I AM HERE FOR A BREAK!

here's sth i ripped from pest's blog. Its a POV of christianity which i have lost touched with, while trying my own best to study hard. So, its rather welcoming for me when i was reading it... like i'm going back to the basics.

"I Am A Christian"

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I'm not shouting, "I'm clean living'.
"I'm whispering, "I was lost."
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble,
And need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak,
And need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed,
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible,
But God believes I am worth it.

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches,
So I call upon His name.

When I say, "I am a Christian",
I'm not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner,
Who received God's good grace, somehow.

In another words, Christian, is a term for those people who recognise themselves as the scum of the earth, yet, accepting of God's grace that will bring about a great change in their lives, so much so that they will eventually become the extreme opposite of what they were; they will become part of the royal family of Christ, and also, very much like their saviour; Jesus, You.

----------------------------------
ok. here's something i discovered. MY BROTHER'S A HIMBO! He came home yesterday and first thing he told me(with a smiling face) was:

"eh gor, today someone scolded me the 'f' word, and i recorded it down on my phone. I think i can sue that guy. HEE HEE. I can sue him 3 times sumore cos of the law of Singapore. i can sue him for scolding vulgarities, for threatening me...[and i somehow switched off my brain]"

following this, for the next half an hour and more, he picked up the house phone, and started dialing all his friend's numbers, just to tell ALL of them about this, and of course with the constant himbotic trademark of "ohmygosh la.. haha"

then, he came back and told me:

"i've got 3 witnesses sumore. Cos that guy(the guy that scolded him), when he came to scold me, he was standing between my table and another table. than that table got 2 girls studying. So, after that guy left, i went to the girls there and ask if they can be my witness if i sue that guy. They said 'Can!', so i got their numbers!(insert picture of my brother with a big flirty grin)"

so, aaron is not just a himbo, hes a flirty one too, which makes him a flirty himbo. haha! i gotta take my hats off to him man. i think he has tonnes more female frens than me. ok jkjkj

anyway, lest u peopl think that my brother is just that (flirty himbo), ur in for a pleasent surprise, like me. The reason why he got scolded was because he tried to stop this guy from scolding vulgarities at pacific coffee. That guy was shooting his mouth(as aaron claimed) full of vulgarities, at this foreigner, and aaron tried to administer justice. wow~ of course, the foreigner was impressed and gave my brother his number. turns out, he was sum big shot from IBM who is now lecturing at SMU.

Me(looking at the contact card he gave my brother, which reads "Singapore Management University"): "Wah, this guy from Singapore Management University one huh. SMU leh, not bad."
Aaron: "eh, how u know he's from Singapore Management University?"
Me: "cos, the card says so?"
Aaron: "oh, ya"

towards the end of the conversation..
"and the best thing was, the doctor(foreigner) taught me maths!"
...picks up phone and start calling another friend again...

himbo. haha.
------------------------
and people, its the second time imma advertising this:
www.-trilogy.blogspot.com <-click here

and i'll try to refrain from bloggin the next week. pretty tough though. haha

hey people, add this following address to your list of shopping sites. Its not mine(evident by the girly stuff posted for sale), but do visit. haha.

www.-trilogy.blogspot.com

anyway, dun go to the wrong webbie. MUST put the "-" in front, if not than you'll end up at another webbie.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAOS!
this is for a brother in Christ from my cca in sku whom had helped me and guided me in times of need and distress, both spiritual and studies. So, this birthday, may God bless u and guide u chaos, into a greater and deeper time of fellowshipping with Him, that we may continue to be 2 friends who will help each other please God more, even if it means rebuking each other in brotherly love. :D

and heres a word of thanks to the birthday organisers; Pest and Handsome-Ong. :D

Went to the worship conference at COR. i think, worship is something that even i have much difficulty learning. What does it mean to worship? What does it mean to glorify God? What does it mean to praise Him? Does big and great actions plus loud voices during praise and worship means all these?

i know, alot of times i have tried my best to lose myself in worship, but only managing to momentarily, for a few times. Maybe a handful of times, i realli got drowned, i vaguely remember. However, i realised, no matter if i managed to get drowned into worship or not, i noticed that when i even tried to worship, those times brought about great self reflection.

Public worship to me, serves as an indicator/self-reflection. If i am unable to worship, that means that there are things of the world that have became my obstacle to God, for example, unforgiveness/hurt/worldly pleasure/greed/idolatary of God-given gifts.... comics... yeah u name it, u have it.

Yesterday night was thus a time of great self reflection of the feelings of anger and resentment towards certain people, which had build up over time. Slowly, during the whole course of worship yesterday, i started to analyse and think, and than slowly, reason out situations. I think, the reason why such feelings build up is cos of the multiple times i see people do things which are not right/eous, and they themselves promise not to do. Yet, i cant say i'm not like them. Yea, i may be christian, but i am human too and i do habour ungodly feelings sometimes...

thx God for the increase in closeness of friendship once again.
what more can i ask for. Thank God, for u.

the trip down to queensway today served as a catalyst for the influx of memories, both pleasent and not so. Even seeing the malan road campus' tennis court walls, i must say, is a very nonstalgic moment. Habourfront was the same yet so different.

oh well, anyway, i'm online to blog abt an eavesdropping session i just shared with my brother aaron, between this gal and this guy who likes this gal. Very interesting, the extent a guy would go to please a gal, to sound dumb on the phone. Aaron was supposed to be "in the toilet". And the gal acts like she adores the guy, spurring the guy to do more, *erhem*, unglam stuff. haha. Just hope i dun get into a scam like this next time.

and somewhere amidst the conversation, aaron "returned" from toilet and came up with the first joke in my entire life which is original(meaning, not copied from me) and which i find funny(which i usually not the case).

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side.

Question: Why did the bubblegum cross the road?
Answer: Cos it is stuck to the chicken's foot.

MENTOR MARK IS GOING TO BE A FATHER SOON! yeah the mentor mark from COR who is attached to SAJC, and he wants me to help him spread the news. haha. COR is quite productive these few years huh. There was Chris and Alvin becoming dads and now its gonna be SHARK!

anway, the Crocodile hunter died. I dunno whether to admire him or what. That stingray that stung him deserves to be cut into pieces and cooked over the BBQ stove with belachan.

Thx God, i sorta finished primary revision for Maths, although mebbe a few topics i'm quite weak still.

Hey Taiyong, thx for helping me around for my stats!(Even though he's probably not proficient in maths in the overall, but his explaination is very good k, haha.) And thanks for opening up your house for me to study today, the many cups of free iced tea(although i had to make it myself), the free sponge cake, the free redbean icecream, the free dumplings for lunch. the free banana, the comfortable sofa, and the company. :D

anyway, i got into trouble with birthdays once again. This time, i forgot my aunties' birthday. I mean, its realli not my fault right? haha(ok i am lazy to remember, but they should know how much they mean to me). Its just realli not fair to me, cos all my aunties plus my uncle and grandparents, 9 person in all, needs only to remember 4 person's birthday(me, Aaron, my cousins: Joel, Sophia), while I have to cramm in so many birthdates into my brain, not including the many maths and physics formulas. argh!Plus, they stay under the same roof, so its easier for them to remind each other our birthdays rather than we reminding each other of their birthdays. And, my mom had to scold me for forgetting. ok that was a crap excuse coming from me.haha. ok well, i need to invent one machine that screams birthdates into my ear every other day, so no one will accuse me of being ungrateful, esp my mom. argh!(haha, i oso forgotten to buy my mom's birthday present)

Verdict: Dinner should be more proactive. haha!
Mugging in sku the next few days. Hope there are people ard to study with. I've got like loads of questions. heh.

Dear God,

I knew You were watching
Always, I knew You were
So, I've tried to run, to hide
Every way in the idiot's guide to spiritual independence
In the end, its just a waste of time

So You are
The only quiet audient of my life
Silence is Your presence that
It just seems not right
Most times i wish for You to speak
Desperately even
So much so I deliberately err
For they said, 'You rebuke he whom You love'

I guess i really wanted and still want
To hear Your voice
Even if its a scolding
I'll be reassured
That You love me, Father
I've jumped, crashed, bled
All in all just hoping To get even more of Your attention
That Your warm and loving hand
They would come and comfort me

Love, me



i wrote this post while trying to study stats. (that shows how uninteresting stats is compared to this). And while i was reflecting, God brought to my mind many memories. Childhood ones. Good, and the not so good.

I remembered once, i borrowed some books from my primary sku library during my p4 year. On my way home, i left the books on the bus. Well, back then, it was like the biggest trouble i had ever known already- losing sku property. So, i told God, 'God, I'll give u 3 days. If You don't help me find the book, I'll not be a christian'. Looking back, I do have an interestin and humourous God. I dint get my book back, and on top of that, i became a non-christian for 3 days, before being guilty and then repenting.

Another memory that came to my mind, was the time i acted in kindergarten as the farmer who had found a big carrot in his field, after which 'he' called 'his' wife, and subsequently, 'his' children and pets to help pull it out. I was the farmer and my 'wife' was this gal one year older than me. I can still remember. She was supposed to be quite cute if i remembered clearly, but she was TALLER and even BIGGER than me at that point in my life. Anyway, TV used to interest me more than anything. haha. But oh well, i had to say those mushy lines(must be gov propaganda. haha! jkjk) - "Wife, wife, (than after that, "Son, son", then "Daughter, daughter"... and so on, until "Dog, dog"..... "Mouse, mouse") come and help me pull!!!"

ok enough ranting. i shouldnt be wasting time anymore, after reading so many hours of comics at chaos place. <绝代双交>. 小鱼儿 is officially my favourite comical hero. !!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIC!

yup, and thx pris for organising this despite the prelims :), though i almost gave us away. :(

a father who loves like one and careth like a mother, must be a God-given gift. wonder if i will be one like this too. takes alot of patience.

and i look at the clouds in the sky, the fishes swimming in the big tank in orchard, and i can only think of a word i long for- freedom. And for eternalty i am gonna share it with You. Wonderful. How i wish eternalty would come fast at times. I can only be thankful eternalty is not decided by an A lvls cert nor an O lvl cert, daddy God. How i long and thirst for Your arms around me, cuddling me as if i were forever a baby, and telling me how much You love me still despite my blemishes. A shoulder to put my head on, and You, drying the tears rolling down my heart's cheeks. Your eyes so full of warm undying love, ears ever open to my sorrows and joy despite me being unbearable, also, lips with living aroma planted on my forehead, kissing me reassuringly like a father a baby son, then telling me, "Its ok, the worst is behind u, my dear, and for the rest of the way, I'll either be beside u, or carrying u along life's journey." I'll exchange everything and anything for it to happen-a preview of heaven, even in a dream. Then, i'll pray in my dream for the dream to never come to an end.